I overheard an interesting comment the other day that entered into my brain as a compliment, but soon was translated into an insult. Here is the situation, the man smiled at the woman and greeted her with a hug. They seemed to be friends but had not seen each other in years. She proudly showed him the picture of her 3 children, to which he said, “You look great for having 3 kids!” ~ Most people would hear that compliment and accept it, but why did he have to give a comparison for her beauty? I wanted to her tell him “You look great for being slightly overweight and lazy!” Now I know, he probably didn’t mean to say it as an insult, but we hear what we hear.
That is where my brain is headed today. I don’t understand why woman are always in competition with eachother? I mean, I get it, but I don’t like it. As moms, life gets hectic and we are easily overwhelmed. There are times that we feel lost in our lives and forget that we are individuals too. So here I sit to digest the man’s comment…
I am a mom, a wife, a woman, a daughter, a sister, a small business owner, a scholar, an athlete and a friend. I am all of those things (and more) and never in the same order. I am proud of being each and every one too. Nevertheless, when I think of myself in each role, I think about what I need to do to be better or to do more. Life is a continuous cycle of lessons and adjustments. Moms everywhere feel the stress of keeping up and getting by. We have an undiscovered gene (not really) that makes us think that what we are doing is not good enough and we need to do more. We are hard enough on ourselves! I am sure most of you out there have walked around in one your many roles and compared yourself to a younger or better version of you. They seem to have it all together, they look fashionable, they stand taller, they have less stress, their kids act better, they have an extra 6 hours in a day, they workout, they love their yoga instructor and lattes…blah blah blah! All you can think is “how in the hell do you have the time and the energy?”
Instead, I say – We Are Moms!!! We Look Good!!! Nothing at the end of that sentence except a bunch of exclamation points! Nothing like …for a mom, …for being 40, …for being a working mom, …for being so busy. There is a rap song that I love by Chalie Boy called “I Look Good” and I want it to be the theme music to life for every mom out there. Go download it and listen to it while on a run or a walk or driving on the highway with the windows open. Let it re-energize you and speak to you when you look in the mirror.
I love what I do because I love to see the power and energy return to my strong and fit moms. When you recommit to yourself through exercise, strength training, relaxation, meditation, eating well, etc…you will see a different you in the mirror than you are used too seeing! You are an amazing, strong and beautiful woman! So the next time you here a compliment like one I overheard, turn on your magic ‘mom ears’, tune out the static and only hear the good stuff – YOU LOOK GOOD!
PS – for all of you male readers, what the man should have said was – “You look great! How are you? …Wow, you have 3 kids!” Now the compliments are separated and independent and much more complimentary!