Don’t Tell Me To Relax!

Ok, so I will never take on the debate of a working mom vs. a stay at home mom (which is incorrectly labeled anyway…I’ll save that for another day).  But I did read an article recently about the happiness of working moms and it triggered the subject of this blog entry –

Why can’t women relax?

The article talked about alpha women and beta women and working dads…blah blah blah.  The real question is this – Why on Sunday do I find myself running around in a panic trying to get the laundry done before the weekend is over, putting away everything that was played with over the weekend, and prepping the school bags and calendar for the upcoming busy week….all while my husband gives me updates on how the football game is going from the couch & the kids play with their hot wheels?!?!?

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Don’t get me wrong, I am not writing this entry to throw my husband under the bus.  I am actually writing this to see if I am the only one with this disease I call “I-have-to-do-everything-right-now-itis”.  I would LOVE to sit and relax on the couch and watch the game on Sunday (I love sports!), but I am physically unable to just sit and exhale.  As my rear-end hits the cushions, I remember that the printer is low on magenta ink, the light bulb in the hall bathroom is out & my housekeeper is coming tomorrow so I have to clean before she gets here.  I know that all of that sounds ridiculous and not a priority for most anyone, but to me it is.  Unfortunately, one of the many symptoms of this disease is a level of frustration at my husband for being lazy, when I know he is not, he just doesn’t find my to-do list a priority.

The big picture for me is that I want the snapshot of my life to be in order and pretty.  Most everything in my world has its place and I like it to be returned to that specific place. In fact, I can’t pack for a trip until all of the laundry is done and put away, that way I know all of my clothing choices are clean and ready for battle!  Maybe it’s a bit of OCD, maybe I’m an Alpha Mom, maybe I’m a little crazy….but I am what I am.  Most everything in my husband’s world has a general area, and he is fine for it to be within 100yds of that space.  So is this sickness separated by gender?

This leads me to a wonderful lesson I learned soon after I got married.  A family friend shared some relationship advice she learned at a seminar.  Men’s brains are like waffles and women’s brains are like spaghetti.

In a bowl of spaghetti, one noodle is in contact with several other noodles allowing us to think about several different things at the same time.  In a man’s brain, if they are sitting in one of the pockets of their waffle brain, they are separated from the other pockets.  Therefore they are not thinking about the light bulb out in the hall bathroom while they are watching the football game.  They are in the “relax and watch football” pocket.  This difference makes us both awesome and annoying at the same time.  All said and done, we have to embrace the differences and find a middle ground.  We are not going to change, but we can start to communicate better.  For example, if you asked your husband to change the light bulb in the hall bathroom, let him do it!  Even if he does not miraculously rise from the couch as the request is received.  He has placed that request in the “house” pocket of his waffle, and it will be completed when he steps into that pocket.

As I write this entry, I find myself unable to cure my disease but I am seeking treatment.  I am reminded everyday to work harder on slowing down and smelling the roses.  My children and my dog are my constant reminders.  Life is short and we have no control on tomorrow.  So be prepared and organized; but put down your iPhones and iPads and wrestle with your kids on the floor, read them a story, snuggle with your husband on the couch, enjoy a cup of coffee on the porch and EXHALE!  Even if it is only for 5 minutes, it is the ONLY known cure for “I-have-to-do-everything-right-now-itis”!

About strengthinmoms

I am the proud mom of two beautiful boys.  During my first pregnancy I exercised somewhat but didn’t know how to adjust to my changing body.  Eventually I just stopped and let my pregnancy take over because I thought the aches and pains were telling me to stop.  When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I was told I needed to stop teaching cardio kickboxing and go easy during bootcamp.  I was very frustrated and confused.  I was pregnant, not injured?!  So I did my research and found out that I was right - I CAN do all of the things I was doing!  I just needed to be in tune with my body and listen to it.  I maintained my fitness levels, my core and total body strength and my relaxed state of mind.  I knew that being a mom did not mean letting go of who I am - a Strong and Fit Woman.  I deserved an hour a day to focus on my mind & body and ultimately my baby and family as well. * My passion in life is to help moms get fit and maintain their strength throughout their pregnancy and beyond.  * I am the owner of Strength in Moms - Prenatal & Postpartum Personal Training in Atlanta, GA
This entry was posted in Health, Mental health, Mom, mommy and daddy, motivation, new moms, Relaxation, Stress, women and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Don’t Tell Me To Relax!

  1. said husband says:

    Go Panthers!!!

  2. Jeff Weiss says:

    I am all too familiar with “I-have-to-do-everything-right-now-itis” (my familiarity is from living with my wife). This is just my theory, but this disease is caused by an underlying need to impress other women, to show control of the household. As evidence for my theory, I present the fact that the symptoms for this disease become severe only when other *women* are coming to the house (oddly, including housekeepers). When just men are coming, symptoms are mild.

  3. Lauren says:

    Sing it, sista! Every Sunday…

  4. Christen says:

    Love this post. Hits very very close to home! Thank you Katie’

  5. Hilary says:

    Its funny, in many ways my husband and I reverse the stereotypes. He seems to be the one who is never able to just sit down and exhale always needing to do the next thing on the list, whereas I can push the list aside and take time for myself.

    That said, my list always seems to include such a much more diversified array of “pockets” (to use your term. My husband’s pockets seem to include work, house, car, money. My pockets include work, house, child, dog, food, laundry, money, etc. etc. etc. So while its easier for me to push my list aside, there is inevitably something in my view related to one of my pockets reminding me I need to get up and take an action.

  6. strephking says:

    I think this is the new definition of the weekend warrior!!! I would love to figure out a way to balance all of this. Do it all on Saturday then do nothing on Sunday? Maybe my husband would be more understanding if he did see me sitting down on Sundays and relaxing with him. The question is, how do i get him into my Saturday routine, so Sunday can be a “fun day” for both of us?

  7. Tish Woolley says:

    I am the exact same way, but honestly so is my husband!! We really have to remind ourselves to relax sometimes! But, it is so much fun when we do! 🙂

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