Don’t Fart On My Bench!


This is NOT your Bathroom – this is a Group Locker Room!

I workout at the gym often and therefore shower and change there too. This morning goes down in the record books!  HILARIOUS and DISGUSTING…

I showered quickly and heard numerous phlegm balls being thrown to the floor (YUCK!).  Thank God I was wearing flip flops.  As I walked past several naked ladies to the dressing room, I opened up my locker and began to get dressed.  A gentle looking woman walked up, smiled and sat down at the other end of my bench in front of her locker.  As we were both getting dressed I noticed some strange behavior.  First, she was sitting naked on the bench…secondly, she began to lean to the right?!?!  As a mom of two young boys & the younger sister of two big brothers, I am well educated on the “lean” and I was spot on!  As she leaned to the right – she let one rip…a loud one that vibrated off the bench!  I almost got whiplash as I turned in shock…did anyone else hear this? Was anyone else as shocked as me?  As I tried to keep my inner ‘school girl laugh’ inside (cause I DO think farts are funny!), I looked again to find her leaning to the left!  AGAIN?  Seriously?!?!   As loud as the first one, a second one followed.  The best part of the whole event was that she remained unfazed by all of it!  Was I being punked?  I laughed quietly, got dressed and quickly left the locker room.

This is where my lesson for today begins.  This is not your bathroom!  I do not understand the lack of common courtesy that occurs at gyms.  I know that gyms try very hard to make the locker room ‘feel like home’ – BUT IT IS NOT!  There are a lot of people around you.  We use the same benches, the same showers, the same toilets, etc…here are some rules!

  1. Don’t sit down naked and rub your butt cheeks all over the chair or bench!
  2. Don’t bend over right in front of me…naked!
  3. Don’t spray hairspray all over your head while I am standing right next you (the ozone layer and I would thank you if you changed to non-aerosol)
  4. Don’t ‘hawk up a loogie’ in the shower and let it fly towards my shower stall!
  5. Don’t pass gas! (hold it, go into a stall or at least say ‘Excuse Me’ & giggle)

I welcome all other suggestions for more rules…send them to me!

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About strengthinmoms

I am the proud mom of two beautiful boys.  During my first pregnancy I exercised somewhat but didn’t know how to adjust to my changing body.  Eventually I just stopped and let my pregnancy take over because I thought the aches and pains were telling me to stop.  When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I was told I needed to stop teaching cardio kickboxing and go easy during bootcamp.  I was very frustrated and confused.  I was pregnant, not injured?!  So I did my research and found out that I was right - I CAN do all of the things I was doing!  I just needed to be in tune with my body and listen to it.  I maintained my fitness levels, my core and total body strength and my relaxed state of mind.  I knew that being a mom did not mean letting go of who I am - a Strong and Fit Woman.  I deserved an hour a day to focus on my mind & body and ultimately my baby and family as well. * My passion in life is to help moms get fit and maintain their strength throughout their pregnancy and beyond.  * I am the owner of Strength in Moms - Prenatal & Postpartum Personal Training in Atlanta, GA
This entry was posted in Exercise, Fitness, Health, Health & Wellness, Hygiene, weight loss, women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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